Photographic evidence now exists of a previously unknown species - the beached whale.

As you can see, the whale has a vaguely female form with a huge lump at the front. The whale seems to have enormous difficulty bending over, and has a constant craving for chocolate. Apparently, a fairly major diet plan, called "giving birth", will occur sometime during the next few weeks and will relieve the whale of its lump.

The last Shirley Temple Pilots gig I'll be able to do for a while went without a hitch (except for the comment about 'Babs Baps'...)

With the now semi-official lineup of Jez Lee, Steve Perry, George "Curry Flinger" Anderson and myself a night of drunken loudness was enjoyed by all. Well, all those who actually stayed in the pub that is... ;)

But unfortunately, as impending fatherhood, approaches (five weeks and counting - aaaah!) my commitments with the 'Pilots are going to have to take a back seat. The good news for all you sad sado-masochists out there is that (hopefully) there might be one or two MP3s of this gig posted on my site in the very near future. You have been warned!

Ahhh, innit cute? Well, not really at the moment, but if you're as sad as me you might find grainy indecipherable images of my impending offspring interesting. Otherwise, you won't. Ho hum.

Anyway, here are the most recent scans of whatever it is that's making the wife look like a beached whale.

I would like to point out that in no way are the views expressed on this site be taken as derogatory in any way to beached whales...

Yes, the rumours are true. Sad git programmer/shouter is now short-haired sad git programmer/shouter. (Now all I need to start working on losing is some weight - ho hum)

Before:

After: